Practices Families Force on their Elderly Parents


Lately I have been appalled at the situations that the couples here have had to face.  Several couples that have been together for years and years, but were remarried after one spouse died, have two sets of offspring…hers and his.

When it comes time for families to decide what to do with the parent who can no longer care for himself/herself , the children come in, take over, and move their parent to one place and expect the other children to take care of their parent…which means moving that parent away from the  spouse.

I cannot  understand these children!  At the least the two sets of children should sit down together and discuss the situation.  Couples don’t want to be separated to die alone.  They can be placed together in a nursing facility or in an Alzeheimer unit.  There are very nice units available where both people can live together as long as possible or until one dies.

We marry to share our lives with another person.  We marry to love that spouse until we die.  I don’t want to be separated from him because I lose my abilities to function.  The support and love of a spouse helps make this transition better and bearable.  I almost cried when I learned how these couples have been corralled by their children to go separate ways.

Please, when you have to make a decision, consider the life and love of the couple you need to care for.  If both aren’t your parent, at least show some empathy for them and their predicament.  Don’t split them up.  Be kind and understanding.  Talk to the other family and decide to do the best for both of them.  If one family wants a parent closer, then make sure the spouse wants to move…and if he/she wants to move with their spouse.

I’d like some response about this situation.



One thought on “Practices Families Force on their Elderly Parents

  1. Tammy Maxwell

    It sounds like the folks need to have some type of living Will that legally dictates what is to happen to them if they are incapacitated. The children will be required by law to follow the dictates of the living Will. I know a great family lawyer I’m Oviedo. If you need a name or a recension for one on Vero Beach let know and I will ask her if she knows of any good ones.

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